Midnight Madness

Midnight Madness, it's gonna get to you. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what you do, you're gonna play.

Man Utd v. Chelsea - FA Cup Final

Oh my, this is going to be freak nasty.

happiness abounds.

Poop Covered Wax Ring

In a related story, Snake and Snafu are expecting a child...Snafu is hard at work designing the perfect little nursery...

happiness abounds.

1 year, 9.5 months to go...

Random soccer baby sez: "Bring em on"

God bless the City of Olympia - I am signing our little one up as soon as she can walk:

Mommy/Daddy & Me Soccer Ages: 2 - 3½
Brace yourself and your toddler for the “World’s Most Popular Game!” As you and your child participate in our fun age-appropriate activities, your child will be developing their large motor skills and socialization skills. The fun happens on the field, and in Mommy/Daddy & Me Soccer, you won’t have to watch from the sidelines!

I hope slide tackling is 'age-appropriate'. Also beer and screaming at the other fathers.

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day
In Mommy/Daddy and Me Soccer.

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to...

Okay, so I'm listening to NPR on Saturday morning and pre-car talk they have this piece on about what's hot in Kenyan music (of course!). Apparently "hip" Kenyan 20 somethings who run the radio stations across the country, which all the Kenyan kiddos are glued to, LOVE KENNY ROGERS. In fact, they're into anything that came out of Nashville in the late 70's/early 80's... yes, that means Crystal Gail folks. They love her. Apparently a whole Kenyan country music movement is burgeoning all because of this radio play.

Oddly perfect.

rowdy roddy piper

fucking hell. let's get some futbol writing back in this bitch.

Liverpool defeats PSV Suckhoven 3-0.

Steve Gerrard is the best player in the world.

John Arne Riise cracked a ridiculous goal...he brings the ball down with his chest and hits a bomb half volley from 40...Eindhoven was silent and many resin balls went up in smoke in cafes all across town.

Holy shit that tall skinny stick figure boy can play.

Patrick Kluivert subs in late to fall over the ball a few times, foul half of Liverpool and look just a few years away from 65.

the end.

enjoy your futbol.

happiness abounds.

Maybe we should move to Virgina

This little bit of genius was found inside a WA State government building. Enjoy.

oh and....

Stinka decides to just randomly reveal to us that she's a genius writer and has won somewhere in the neighborhood of 1533 awards for writing people's faces off...and she's not contributing anything to the blog...

SnakeCEO, what kind of horseshit outfit are your runnin?

Snake will only respond with: "I'd never hurt a fly and I'm awesome...

or how his lover Yosh likes to say: "Oh Jake can run his little blog anyway he wants, I support my husband in any endeavor." Once again, happiness abounds.

Trust me Colin, you'll like this

In another story that seems sports-related but is actually about female genitalia, the West Virginia men's basketball team recently won the NIT (the poor man's NCAA tournament). Here's how the NIT printed the school's name on its championship t-shirts (look closely):

Take Note, Faun's Beard

Again, I know this is no longer a soccer blog, but c'mon, this story is fantastic. Details are emerging about the all-night party the Czech Republic team threw following their 2-1 loss to Germany last week in a Euro 2008 qualifier.

Turns out six of the players were getting rowdy with six prostitutes in their hotel room. Three of the players are married. One of them, Arsenal star Tomas Rosicky, has a very pissed off girlfriend. How were the players' infidelities uncovered? A female journalist--who had ventured to their hotel room in search of autographs--was allowed to hang out and watch the whole thing.

Now that's professionalism, Josh!

Nice going

I know this is no longer really a soccer blog, but I had to post this anyway. Landon Donovan scored a hat trick today to lead the U.S. to a 3-1 over Ecuador in an international friendly. This ends an 18-game scoreless streak for Donovan in international play (including all of last year's World Cup). Good to know he can score when it really counts. Oh wait ...

Which Wide Web?

I just saw a commercial for eharmony.com, the dating site operated (clandestinely) by right-wing religious types. And they were showing (as is their advertising staple) one of the couples who met on the site. And the guy said he was skeptical of any dating service "on an Internet," but eharmony.com won him over. Is there more than one Internet and I'm only now hearing about it?

Introducing Seattle's Newest Homowners

...the saga continues

Meet Frankie Carbone

A new day, a new issue. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, again, Frankie Carbone (Part 2)!

Ever wonder...

what we do behind closed doors. Now ya know.

why can't i comment on frankie carbone?

and what happened to the band with the same name?

You Can't Go Home Again Because Your Teeth are Goofy and You Have a Bubble-Wrap Hat

Blam-O! No longer is this blog the exclusive province of Jake and I when it comes to ridiculous photographic representations of our personages! Take that prodigal daughter!

(P.S. meat, let's be friends again...)

Meet Frankie Carbone

When I was in college, I aspired to a one-panel cartoon in the school newspaper. It was to be called Meet Frankie Carbone and it was to be glorious. I even made several sketches in case the paper called me up and asked me to fill in for one of their regulars.

Alas, I was never called up and the sketches are gone. Luckily the spirit remains and there exists an even better venue for what many consider to be my most personal and endearing work. Where, you ask? The Balls on Fire blog! Thus, I give you part one in a continuing series. World, meet Frankie Carbone (Part 1)!

Lover's Package

Well as the days get closer and closer to a possible sale, the Lover's Package is almost a reality. "What's the Lover's Package?" you might ask. Well fret not, I am here to tell you. The Lover's Package is the official legal name of the sale of the house that Snake and B.M. are buying together. It's listed as such on every legal document. Thus, not only making it an aspirational reality, but a legal one too. We must have you over for drinks sometime, just look for the yellow house and the door mat that says 'Back Door Guests are the Best.' Lover's Package hurray!