Crazy Brain

Stewpot. Unassuming, bicycle-riding, soccer-playing, waterfront-living, office guy secretary dude.

With a crazy brain!

Seriously, anyone who reads this blog (all four of you) should have a re-read of Nicolai's latest posts. Each one is the carefully crafted product of a fevered imagination, a strange genius--a raving lunatic. I've never read such incredible stuff. Really, this is a blog entry of pure appreciation. Especially since he is--in person and to all appearances--a totally normal dude.

Nickleson, It must take an incredible amount of effort to keep a constant lid on that crazy brain of yours during the day. You're like some kind of superhero. Bravo, sir, bravo.

ThOsE sTePs ArE pAiNtEd

while watching "meet the fockers" last night, I saw the golden light of heaven...

those steps are painted....

the top of the steps were painted, only the top (and to use a word that's over-used) it looked GLORIOUS....

my days as the jack-ass of the neighborhood are soon to end...

happiness abounds.

enjoy your futbol.

An Open Letter to Nick Stewart

Dear Nick,

Why don't you love me anymore? You used to love me all day and all night. Now you don't love me even a little. I know we've had some hard times baby, but I never stopped loving you. Not even for a second. I know I can make you love me again, you've just got to give me a chance. Put the hate away, lock it up in a little box and throw away the key. There, don't you feel better? I know I do. Mmmm, that's much better. I'm going to love you long time.

Jake

lonely planet

Hello. Is their anybody out there? Just tell me if you can hear me. Is there anyone at home?

Friends,

I write to you today to tell you I am saddened by the lack of posts on ballz on fire.

Snake CEO has been hard at work demolishing homes far and wide across greater King County. Seen a good Godzilla movie lately? Snake is his own version of a large stinky monster stomping on buildings all over town. Way to destroy the infrastructure, slimy.

Snafu has been hard at work painting his room in lovely pastel colors that are turning normally energetic people into lazy sleepy bed time story readers.

Meat.Loaf continues her ongoing search for the perfect porn movie. Shocking. Those of us from the great state of Indiana do not approve.

Stinka's been all across the country in search of the perfect blond hippie surfer boy to make out with only to tackle the poor boy moments later. "Surfing's not just a sport, it's a way of life. It's about looking that wave in the eye and saying 'hey bud, let's party', hey, where'd you get that jacket?"

Ginny pop is throwing in a huge dip so that he can "lay down the law" as manager of the professional sporting outfit known as Fauns Beard FC. He's committed to commitment.

Meanwhile, poor trickle is sad and lonely eyed.

happiness does not abound.

Midnight Madness

Midnight Madness, it's gonna get to you. It doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what you do, you're gonna play.

Man Utd v. Chelsea - FA Cup Final

Oh my, this is going to be freak nasty.

happiness abounds.

Poop Covered Wax Ring

In a related story, Snake and Snafu are expecting a child...Snafu is hard at work designing the perfect little nursery...

happiness abounds.

1 year, 9.5 months to go...

Random soccer baby sez: "Bring em on"

God bless the City of Olympia - I am signing our little one up as soon as she can walk:

Mommy/Daddy & Me Soccer Ages: 2 - 3½
Brace yourself and your toddler for the “World’s Most Popular Game!” As you and your child participate in our fun age-appropriate activities, your child will be developing their large motor skills and socialization skills. The fun happens on the field, and in Mommy/Daddy & Me Soccer, you won’t have to watch from the sidelines!

I hope slide tackling is 'age-appropriate'. Also beer and screaming at the other fathers.

And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day
In Mommy/Daddy and Me Soccer.

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to...

Okay, so I'm listening to NPR on Saturday morning and pre-car talk they have this piece on about what's hot in Kenyan music (of course!). Apparently "hip" Kenyan 20 somethings who run the radio stations across the country, which all the Kenyan kiddos are glued to, LOVE KENNY ROGERS. In fact, they're into anything that came out of Nashville in the late 70's/early 80's... yes, that means Crystal Gail folks. They love her. Apparently a whole Kenyan country music movement is burgeoning all because of this radio play.

Oddly perfect.

rowdy roddy piper

fucking hell. let's get some futbol writing back in this bitch.

Liverpool defeats PSV Suckhoven 3-0.

Steve Gerrard is the best player in the world.

John Arne Riise cracked a ridiculous goal...he brings the ball down with his chest and hits a bomb half volley from 40...Eindhoven was silent and many resin balls went up in smoke in cafes all across town.

Holy shit that tall skinny stick figure boy can play.

Patrick Kluivert subs in late to fall over the ball a few times, foul half of Liverpool and look just a few years away from 65.

the end.

enjoy your futbol.

happiness abounds.

Maybe we should move to Virgina

This little bit of genius was found inside a WA State government building. Enjoy.

oh and....

Stinka decides to just randomly reveal to us that she's a genius writer and has won somewhere in the neighborhood of 1533 awards for writing people's faces off...and she's not contributing anything to the blog...

SnakeCEO, what kind of horseshit outfit are your runnin?

Snake will only respond with: "I'd never hurt a fly and I'm awesome...

or how his lover Yosh likes to say: "Oh Jake can run his little blog anyway he wants, I support my husband in any endeavor." Once again, happiness abounds.

Trust me Colin, you'll like this

In another story that seems sports-related but is actually about female genitalia, the West Virginia men's basketball team recently won the NIT (the poor man's NCAA tournament). Here's how the NIT printed the school's name on its championship t-shirts (look closely):

Take Note, Faun's Beard

Again, I know this is no longer a soccer blog, but c'mon, this story is fantastic. Details are emerging about the all-night party the Czech Republic team threw following their 2-1 loss to Germany last week in a Euro 2008 qualifier.

Turns out six of the players were getting rowdy with six prostitutes in their hotel room. Three of the players are married. One of them, Arsenal star Tomas Rosicky, has a very pissed off girlfriend. How were the players' infidelities uncovered? A female journalist--who had ventured to their hotel room in search of autographs--was allowed to hang out and watch the whole thing.

Now that's professionalism, Josh!

Nice going

I know this is no longer really a soccer blog, but I had to post this anyway. Landon Donovan scored a hat trick today to lead the U.S. to a 3-1 over Ecuador in an international friendly. This ends an 18-game scoreless streak for Donovan in international play (including all of last year's World Cup). Good to know he can score when it really counts. Oh wait ...

Which Wide Web?

I just saw a commercial for eharmony.com, the dating site operated (clandestinely) by right-wing religious types. And they were showing (as is their advertising staple) one of the couples who met on the site. And the guy said he was skeptical of any dating service "on an Internet," but eharmony.com won him over. Is there more than one Internet and I'm only now hearing about it?

Introducing Seattle's Newest Homowners

...the saga continues

Meet Frankie Carbone

A new day, a new issue. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce to you, again, Frankie Carbone (Part 2)!

Ever wonder...

what we do behind closed doors. Now ya know.