I'll add another post (that's three today). I'm watching Red Heat and, even though I'm only two minutes in and haven't gotten to the opening credits yet, I can already say that this is my favorite movie of all time. It begins with a bunch of enormous Russian dudes wearing nothing but loincloths pumping iron inside what looks like a Turkish bath. Meanwhile, totally naked sexy Russian ladies swim around. Co-ed steam rooms--I didn't realize the Soviet Union was so progressive. Thanks a lot, Reagan. Anyway, for some reason Arnold Schwarzenegger just punched some fat guy who looks Hawaiian through a window and into the snow. Then he tumbled out the window with some other huge dude. So now the three of them are fighting in the snow in their loincloths. And the sound effects are amazing--each punch sounds like a tree splitting in half. That's as much as I've seen, but it's incredible and I expect it to only get better from here. I mean, we haven't even gotten to James Belushi yet.
By the way, I love the people who write their own reviews on Netflix and trash movies like Red Heat because the acting is bad, the cinematography is uninspired or the plot is unrealistic. What, exactly, were they expecting from a movie staring Arnold and Jimmy Belushi as mismatched cops from opposite sides of the Iron Curtain who must reluctantly team up to catch a drug lord who escapes from prison in the USSR and makes for Chicago, all the while realizing that maybe they're not so different and that there is hope for peace and understanding between our nations after all? Of course, I'm just guessing that's what happens, since I haven't watched the whole thing yet. But having seen Dragnet, Turner & Hooch, Running Scared, Beverly Hills Cop, 48 HRS, Lethal Weapon and Tango & Cash, I'm pretty confident.
Oh my god, Arnold just ripped off some guy's wooden leg and busted it open to reveal the cocaine hidden inside. I gotta go.
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3 comments:
Don't leave me hanging, what happened next...
They got their man and begrudgingly came to respect each other. What else?
Dear Snakage,
You have movie reviewing skillz un-matched by any human on the planet earth. As Arnold throws a fat guy in a robe into the Siberian forest, you, fine Snake, throw fat-ass Ebert and his thumb off the top of the Sears Tower...as he falls to the ground he can be heard screaming "Red Heat's got nothin on Forest Gump!"...his days as a chunky critical critic come to a dramatic conclusion as he meets his maker in the form of a hard sidewalk in front of Oprah's studio (Harpo)! you go girl.
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