Hear Deuce Roar!

That's right fans of The Deuce, Clint Dempsey scored a bomb for Fulham this evening. After coming on as a sub in the 52nd minute, Dempsey crushed a volley from 35 yards out which dipped over the top of the hapless Stoke city 'keeper. The part-time rapper followed his strike with his customary "I'm pissed off and Awesome" victory sprint. Do that shit in the World Cup motherfucker.

Enjoy your Deuce.

Bryce Loves Freddy Adu

But poor Freddy has, like, the worst career ever! It's so sad, and Bryce can hardly take it.

My solution to everything: the Sounders sign Adu. Yes!

Tim Tebow makes Lucifer a better man

Today, my friends, was the final game at Florida for our fearless hero, Tim Tebow. In tonight's Sugar bowl, he threw for nearly 500 yards and completed 150% of his passes. Damn it, he is good. Given that all the football smart guy's like Mel Kiper and the rest of the weirdos who watch football 27 hours a day say he can't be a quarterback in the NFL, the University of Florida have made an unprecedented move. They have named Tim Tebow as there alumni quarterback. They are going to pay him 27 million dollars a year to throw passes during the halftime of all Florida home games wearing nothing but that black tape under his eyes that displays his favorite bible verse of the day.

Enjoy your Football.