Thursday, October 26, 2006

I hope you're writing this down

I know you've all been waiting for it, so here, at long last, is my Christmas list. Please make sure to coordinate so that I get at least one of everything.

  • Xbox 360 or Playstation 3, whichever is awesomer. Also, I'll need all the heli-cool games.
  • Condo, minimum of 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Preferably in Capital Hill.
  • Mac laptop, to replace the crappy Dell I'm writing on right now.
  • Some fleece shirts, dark colors only.
  • Flintstones chewable Prozac.
  • Jeans that fit right.
  • Good books.
  • Movie star good looks.
  • The size, speed and ability to play for Manchester United.
  • Arrested Development brought back for season four.
  • The Simpsons canceled before we forget how good it once was.
  • All the girls on My Super Sweet 16 sterilized and forced to work hard labor. Their parents arrested for child abuse.
  • A few days off.
  • A Democratic sweep of the House and Senate that is not followed by the Dems immediately fucking it up with sex scandals, corruption, incompetence or arrogance.
  • A panel of psychologists/psychiatrists/analysts/therapists/analrapists from Vienna to figure out what's wrong with me.
  • World peace or, if world peace is not available, an end to the war in Iraq.
More to come ...

4 comments:

GinthMisterGrandeMax said...

I can't belive that you watch that crappy MTV show "My Sweet Sixteen"

Jake said...

You must watch it too, since you know what I'm talking about. I've never seen a show that filled me with more rage. I want to kill everyone on it.

MeganP said...

Wait a minute, you're busted -- YOU HATE CHRISTMAS!!! The only flintstones you're getting will be packed w/ coal!

Jake said...

I don't hate Christmas, I hate Christians. Big difference. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud.