Crikey!

Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, was killed by a stingray today during a diving expedition. No word on whether or not he was trying to stick his thumb up its butthole.

I joke, but this news seriously bummed me out. Irwin was so goofy and earnest that you couldn't help but like him. Plus, he taunted man-eating animals at every possible opportunity. Yes, his movie was a travesty. But the Croc Hunter was a badass.

Which is why it's so hard to believe that his killer was a stingray. That is bullshit! No punk-ass stingray is worthy of killing the Croc Hunter. This guy deserved to go at the hands of nothing less than a croc; a shark; a giant, poisonous snake; a bear; a tiger; a lion; or some mythological creature that is one half one of those animals and one half one of the others. That's it, that's the list.

Anyway, here's to you Crocodile Hunter. You'll be sincerely missed.