Jessica Alba's Naughty Fun Bags

That got your attention, didn't it, you sick pervs. Tonight Megan asked me if I had posted to the blog this weekend. I said no. That made me sad. So I decided to post a transcript of our conversation. That was it. The word "no," I mean, that was the transcript. Sorry if that wasn't clear. In my defense, I'm composing this message while working and watching Fantastic Four. It sucks. Fantastic Four, I mean. I'm only a few minutes in and I can already tell it totally sucks. Josh probably liked it though. He likes everything. He's the opposite of Mikey from the Life cereal commercials. Wouldn't that be interesting, if Josh hated Life cereal? Weird. Getting back to Fantastic Four, who casts the guy from The Commish as a superhero? Now I've lost the plot of the movie, what with all the typing. All of a sudden they're on a spaceship and I'm not sure why. Are they astronauts? I thought they were white-collar business types. The inside of the spaceship looks like a set borrowed from the old Star Trek television show. I wish there some snakes on this plane. The only impressive props in the movie are Jessica Alba's ta-tas. Seriously, was this movie made in the '70s? Was the budget under $100,000? I think the studio spent more money promoting this turd than actually making it. I'm not sure that the special FX in this could be worse. I want to deliver a flying double-knee kick to the director's chest. Maybe I will. Also, the soundtrack is seriously pissing me off. It's the worst kind of annoying frat boy pop rock. This movie is none's the cool. OK, I'm tired of typing and this should be enough to satify your Balls on Fire fix. You're welcome. End communication.