Back, By Popular Demand

More World Cup notes, from the News of the Weird file:

• Mexico coach Ricardo La Volpe responded to criticism from the Mexican press with a profanity-laced tirade in which he accused the press of knowing nothing about soccer. "Don't break my balls between now and the World Cup," said La Volpe.
  
• Croatia coach Zlatko Kranjcar has also come under fire from the media, in his case for selecting his son Niko Kranjcar, 21, as the team's offensive playmaker. Niko has been tagged with the nickname "Fatty" for, well, for being fat. Word out of Croatian camp is that Niko's ass is so big that it has its own congressman.
  
• In happier news, Argentine wunderkind Lionel Messi is being heaped with praise for lifting his team to new heights by his coach ... wait, for it ... Jose Pekerman. Pekerman's comments were seconded by assistant coach Senor Douchebaggo.
  

Thank you. You've been a terrific audience.