Rumors abound that Balls on Fire man Kris Ginthner is responsible for the United States' men's soccer team's devasting loss to Ghana in the first round of the World Cup today.
Reports placed Ginthner on a plane returning from Mexico late last night, but the enigmatic personality failed to appear at a time of his country's greatest need. Fellow supporters of the USA were let down despite heroic, yet lonely, efforts to keep their team aloft sans Maestro Ginthemistergrandemax.
Only slightly less visible was US captain Landovan Donovan who has reportedly blamed Ginthner for his own disappearing act on the field in Hamburg. "I was worried when Dick and Snake called to say Ginny was a no-show. The thought that something had happened to my dear friend--a motorcycle accident perhaps, marring his perfect features--caused no end to my distraction on the pitch," said Donovan.
The lack of a good Ginthnerizing has resulted in a once promising US team being outed from the World Cup, but we must now put that behind us. The real question now is: Will Houdini Kris reappear? We can only hope, loyal readers.
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1 comment:
I knew there had to be a good reason for Donovan to suck so much ass. Good scoop Josh.
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